Melissa and Zack Kolstein are the Youth Directors of Barnert Temple in Franklin Lakes, New Jersey. Melissa and Zack were nominated by Abbye Eisenthal who said, “Melissa and Zack make being a youth advisor look easy. They are fun, energetic and caring with all teens that they come into contact with. They continue to push their teens to always take the next step towards greatness."
READ OUR Q&A MELISSA AND ZACK:
How long have you been a Jewish Youth Worker?
Melissa and I have been youth workers for 6 years.
What is your Favorite aspect of working with youth?
For Melissa, she likes working with the teens by helping them to understand appropriate boundaries and limits in terms of how they can speak and act with each other. Zack enjoys guiding the teens through relationship challenges and struggles with faith and God and impulse control issues.
What is your proudest moment as a Youth Worker?
In our 3rd year as advisors 2 of our board members were elected to regional board. Then in our 4th year as advisors 4 of our board members were elected to regional board. Then in our 5th year as advisors 1 of our members was elected to national board. And now as we enter our 6th year the 90 active members have never known Barnert without a youth group and it becomes the natural course of high school. BarTY member -> chairperson -> BarTy Board -> NFTY regional board -> then beyond
OR
It could have been when we were chosen as youth workers of the month!
What is your favorite food?
I like spaghetti with butter and Melissa LOVES sushi.
What do you do in your free time (second job)?
This is our second job. and we have no free time. BUT when we do get a moment not at our day job and not at our TYG job we love to take our daughter to the park to feed the ducks.
Do you have any tips for fellow youth workers?
A few. How about 10?
One: Fully commit yourself to the group. Don't look at it as a job but as an extension of who you are.
Two: Do fun things (that you think are fun) and show your enthusiasm (but be real)
Three: BE REAL, BE YOURSELF - NO BS - the people that count can see through it.
Four: Marketing, Marketing, Marketing! Write an article for the bulletin, go to the board meetings, visit with families, show up on Friday night and Saturday morning when you can - Be visible!
Five: Develop key talking points for those influencers (teens) you send in to classrooms and meetings to talk about the group - Many teenagers need help formulating their thoughts into words.
Six: Share your thoughts and ideas with the group and then go do them! Don't wait for approval from a board or a youth committee - trust yourself and others will trust you. Teens have a very short attention span.
Seven: Think like a teen but don't act like a teen - or if you do act like a teen marry someone who doesn't so you can balance each other out.
Eight: Surround yourself with the best people - Find those adults who believe in what you are doing and let them help you. They can be your best advocates. Don't rely on groups of people - rely on individuals.
Nine: Remember names. I know, sometimes we all have to fake it - BUT TRY. It is the first step toward making someone feel welcome.
Ten: Don't over do it. Leave them wanting more. And when you can surprise everyone with something spontaneous.
